The Zahir

       'Marie, let's suppose that two firemen go into a forest to put out a small fire. Afterwards, when they emerge and go over to a stream, the face of one is all smeared with black, while the other man's face is completely clean.  My question is this: which of the two will wash his face?'

       'That's a silly question.  The one with the dirty face of course.'

       'No, the one with the dirty face will look at the other man and assume that he looks like him.  And, vice versa, the man with the clean face will see his colleague covered in grime and say to himself: I must be dirty too.  I'd better have a wash.'

       'What are you trying to say?'

       'I'm saying that, during the time I spent in hospital, I came to realise that I was always looking for myself in the women I loved.  I looked at their lovely, clean faces and saw myself reflected in them.  They, on the other hand, looked at me and saw the dirt on my face, and, however intelligent or self-confident they were, they ended up seeing themselves reflected in me and thinking that they were worse than they were.  Please, don't let that happen to you...'

- excerpt from Paulo Coelho's 'The Zahir'

I just love to read - like a friend said, it's a kind of 'escape' from the real world.  When I read, I'm transported into the magical realm of the author's imagination.  But the thing about reading, whenever I finished a book, the story will keep playing in my head, like some sort of a broken record player, and sometimes I can't shake it off fast enough.  Like the time when I read this horrible, horrible story of an abused child in Dave Pelzer's 'A Child Called 'It'' - I was so horrified that a mother (like myself?) can do such horrible things to her flesh and blood!  It makes me cringe and left a bitter taste in my mouth!  It makes me wonder whether normal human beings (after all, the mother acted all normal when others are around..) can resort to such cruel acts when no one is watching, and what we are capable of when influenced by the devil??  Suffice to say, I cease to read such books, even though I've a friend who loves the genre becoz according to her it raises an awareness of what is probably happening around us.. (I hope not! huhu..)

Anyway, I finished 'The Zahir' last night and am still trying to put a name to what I feel (sad, melancholy, hopeful..hmm.. ) The story is about a reknowned multi-millionaire author who lost his wife because he became complacent and took his relationship with her for granted. Basically, it's revolved around the theme of love and how it could be lost and jaded when we are too busy 'making a living'.  The book strikes a chord in many ways with my life, it's quite scary actually.  I never want my relationship with FHA, my family and my friends to go down the same road.  To quote the author - "being with someone else and making that person feel as if they were of no importance in our life is far worse than feeling alone and miserable in the streets of Geneva" - this is definitely something I wish I don't do (intentionally or unintentionally).  Even though the book has a happy ending (sort of), it is a thought provoking read that I would recommend it to anyone.  It's a tad longer (and more verbose!) than 'The Alchemist' but overall, I think Mr Coelho managed to get his message across just fine.

Now I need a lighter read to uplift my spirit!  huhu... I wish Achique could just finish Sophie Kinsella's latest book ('Remember Me' is the title, I think) so that I can enjoy a good chick lit this CNY weekends!